I can hardly imagine...

I recently read a book that my dad passed along to me that has probably been the book in all my bookworm days that has had the most profound effect on me as a person.

He passed it along in saying, "If you want to understand why Poppy doesn't talk about his experiences in the war, this book will make you see why".

Of course I want to know why. My grandfather is a part of history, but yet, we've grown up knowing bits of pieces of that part of him.

The book was Flags of our Fathers by James Bradley. If you are not familiar, James Bradley is the son of "Doc" Bradley who was one of the 2nd group of flagraisers on Iwo Jima. However, until after the death of his father, James Bradley did not find out all of the details surrounding this fateful day because it was a topic that was never spoken about in their household. Doc Bradley avoided all interview requests as well as other media attention surrounding the event until his death because according to him, he was not the real hero. The real heroes were the ones that "never made it home".

What I do know about my grandfather's experience in the war is very minimal. Growing up, he has been known to sing a few songs here and there that him and other soldiers would sing along their marches and down time. I know he was in the Phillipines. I know he calls the Japanese "those damn Japs" (I'm sorry if this offends anyone). I know he helped to rescue the prisoners from the Japanese camps during and after the Bataan Death March. (this I did not find out until recent years). I've seen my grandfather tear up here and there and not be able to answer many of our questions as innocent children.

There's no way I could ever fathom the perils of war. Even my statement is one of ignorance because I will NEVER understand.

what was described to me on those pages in the book many times brought me to tears. I know "war is bad", but some of these depictions were beyond what I've ever even known. Men were tortured, beaten, badly abused by artillery, died, and on and on and on in ways that I've never even known to be possible in my sheltered life.

I know why my Grandfather can not speak of these things today. The memories must be too painful to bear, to heartwrenching to talk about.

My mom told me recently that he was able to open up to my father about a few things. He was in a foxhole with his buddy, his friend, his brother of a common cause when he was struck by some form of attack, badly dismangled, flown about 100 feet, and died. My grandfather did not have a scratch.

I know why my Grandfather can not speak of these things. I have come to understand there is a certain amount of shame associated with war. You kill people. This is your purpose in war??

This book had a profound effect on me because I now know why my grandfather has not talked about his experiences in the wars.

I've always had a very high level of respect for soldiers in fighting for my rights and freedoms here. However, after reading this book, I have a whole new meaning of hero and has moved me in a way that I can't even articulate.

All I can say is thank you for protecting me and my country.