Defunct Family

My dad's side of the family is far from the norm. He has 3 brothers, two of which treat their mom like crap, and 1 deceased sister. I can't speak for what they were like iin their earlier years, but from what Grammy says, she had a normal family where everyone did things together and they were all great children.

Well, fast forward many years. My one uncle always thought my dad was treated differently growing up because he was the baby. The oldest packed up and moved to Vermont sometime after college and hasn't been back since. If Grammy is lucky, he makes a day and a half visit once a year, but otherwise, expects her to travel up that way. There have always been money issues stemming from the fact that my uncle and his wife always thought money was important and my parents thought love was more important.

Things are strained. My dad doesn't speak with 2 of the 3 brothers, and those 2 are just plain evil if you ask me. Particularly one, has no patience with her, constantly yells at her, hardly gives her the time of day and IF she gets lucky, he'll make a trip to see her (the whole 5 minutes it takes to get from his house to hers). His grand ole excuse? "Mom, I'm too busy". Grammy: "Well, _____, you're home on a Friday, you can't be too busy." _____, raising his voice, "Mom, I have things I need to do". Grammy: "Well, I really need a ride to the doctor" ______ "Ask you're 'good son to do it."

And that's how her life goes. I think the 6 members + fiance of my family try really hard to make up for what she is lacking from the rest of the family. We call her regularly to check in and just to say hi. Over winter break my brothers took her to the doctor, the physical therapist, the pain specialist and held her hand. My dad picked her up, drove back to our house with her for the holidays and then drove her home again later....Every Saturday, my parents drive over and deliver her breakfast. They do those things for her because they want to and because they love her.

The other night I was talking to her on the phone and she was telling me how excited she was for the wedding. Particularly, because there are no rules for her to follow at this wedding. At my cousin's wedding, she was hardly allowed to drink, she had to refrain from talking, dancing was limited, etc. At one point she laughed a certain way and I was reminded of a time when we were younger. I felt so bad in that moment because things HAVEN'T been easy for her. She still laughs, but she's been through so many things in her lifetime you have to wonder how someone stays so strong. Especially after all those years of taking care of her children, and all she's getting now is crap and a "I'm too busy" in return.

It's just so frustrating to me.