Great Run...

I just had one of the best runs I've had in YEARS!! I felt so great....perfect temperature, no wind, the sun was setting, and there were hints of spring smells....

...don't you wish they were all like that?

Emotional Toughness

One quality I certainly lack in my life is my emotional toughness when it comes to certain things. This has been the way I have been my whole life. Instead of reacting the way some people do to certain situations by being angry, I most likely can't control the tears from creeping out.

...Sadly to admit, I can remember a time when I was embarrassed to fart, yes fart, around my family. This is a story my dad likes to bring up from time to time to embarrass me. I was probably about 12 or so, farted in the living room while everyone was in there, and being the natural reaction, everyone laughed. Not me, I cried and ran to my room mortified. While I don't cry anymore, I laugh, I am still a big ole' baby when it comes to my emotional toughness.

I feel that I am a strong person, but react weakly in certain situations. I tried so hard today not to get upset over something that happened at work, but I had to walk away and let the tears creep out on my own.

In the professional sense, I know I need to work on this. However, how do you change the way your body/mind reacts if its done that its whole life. I can honestly tell you I try not to cry, I really do. I tell myself to calm down, handle it, but even when I do that, I often get a few to squeek out.

Now that I've had time to digest the situation, I should have been more angry than upset. That is the case now...but instead, I got upset earlier.

The way some people explain it, I care too much. To me, I just think I need to get mad.

Side Note

Ok....here is a random side note (s) that I've been thinking about of a few things I love and hate...

I love...sleeping with my fiance and snuggling with him. My favorite thing in the world is to be laying in bed with him holding me. There's no other place I'd rather be...

I hate...that the winter brings so much damn static electricity. I have been getting some rather uncomfortable shocks lately, it's making my hair stand on ends, and here's something WEIRD that has been happening. Today, while I was cleaning, I was listening to my ipod. At the time, I was cleaning the TV (while it was off mind you), but SEVERAL times, I got this weird buzzing/electrocution type feeling in my ears through the headphones while I was cleaning the TV. I know this sounds really weird, but it happened. It WASN'T just static from the song, it was literally static going through the headphones to my ears. It was not the best thing I've ever felt.

I love...those first few gulps of really cold milk. It is SO refreshing and I love feeling the coolness go down my throat.

I hate...that my long hair ends up EVERYWHERE other than my head. I love having my hair long, but it's everywhere. My clothes, the floor, my car, etc...it's SO ANNOYING.

More Wedding Stuff

A few days ago on the 15th it was exactly 5 months until our wedding. There are days where that feels like such a long period of time, but when I think about how fast the month of February has gone, I don't think it's going to take that long.

We've been able to cross off a few more things off of our list, so it's starting to move along. The good news is, we have less than $600 to go with our payments for our cruise. In one month, our cruise will be paid, our plane tickets are already paid, and the only thing left will be anything we do on and off the ship. That's a sense of accomplishment, so I'm happy.

I went and checked out the limos that we will be using for our wedding. My fiance and I will have a regular white limousine while our bridal party will be riding in style in a white 14-passenger stretch hummer. I'm so jealous!! We're making strides in getting a place booked for the rehearsal dinner, the florist is booked, I just have to go down and talk to the florist to see what I like.

The invitations part is rather annoying if you ask me. It's not something I am ENJOYING researching because it's not something I find worth it to spend a lot of money on. In the midst of that, I am trying to find something that's different, but beachy, but not too over the top. We got a sample in the mail of one I'm leaning towards, and it actually looks really nice in person. So we'll see, I know that's something I have to get on top of soon.

It's just so crazy...all of it. It's crazy that we are getting married. But I love it, and I love him more than anything...

Life on the Road

It just so happened that this weekend, we had/have off from school Friday and Monday for President's Weekend/winter break. I've been feeling pretty burnt out from work, so I started looking into the possiblity of going away for a night.

Unfortunately, my fiance had a game on Saturday and they were leaving Friday night. So, it kind of worked out that I was able to go with the team on the bus, stay over night in the hotel, and then will go to the game later today. It also worked out that I really wouldn't have had to work today, so I wouldn't have felt guilty for missing. (Although I feel guilty for missing something else.)

I've really enjoyed spending this time on the road with the team, and just being able to go out last night with some of the coaches and other staff. I have to admit, that in the past I've been jealous when I haven't been able to participate on some of the trips that a lot of the wives have gone on. I also think that it's neat that we're at this point in our lives. I've really gotten to know the "significant others" and it's a fun feeling being part of that crowd.

Unfortunately, I don't think we'll ever really be at the point where I can just take off from work and go on these trips (especially the bigger ones). I really don't have the type of job that enables me to do that, so it's a little disappointing when I think about all the things I DO miss out on.

But then I remember...to appreciate the fun times that I DO get to participate in...

Mall trip = Good morals

Yesterday, I decided to trek over to the mall for three reasons: 1. I was home alone. 2. I actually got out of work at a decent time. 3. I still had gift cards from christmas that hadn't been used yet. So, I pull into the parking lot and notice something....

...there was an old man wandering around, obviously trying to find his car. My stomach started to turn because I felt SO BAD, and didn't know what to do. I waited, and watched, and then finally decided I couldn't just go inside and leave him out there.

So I asked him if he needed help, and he seemed so grateful. He told me he couldn't find his car, but he KNEW he parked it in that lot, not far from the entrance to JcPenny. So, we started walking, and I ran over to the other side of the building to make sure he wasn't parked over there. It was really cold out, so I offered to drive him around the isles to see if we could find it and he refused, telling me he felt really badly for me to go out of my way that way. So, we started walking again and we finally found it, not far from where we were at the time. To give him credit, it WAS parked between 2 big cars and was slightly hidden.

It's amazing though to see how people react in that situation. Everyone else, just walked right on by. I was appalled at one woman...very nastily (is that a word?) she said "Just go inside and get a security guard to help him". Ok, so I'm just going to pass off this old man to someone else??

In the end, the guy was extremely appreciative, kept telling me I was an angel, and thanked me over and over again. What he said afterwards was cute...as I started walking back to the mall he said..."Wait! There's only one good explanation...I'm 89 years old and I don't know if I'm coming or going!"

I thank my parents for raising me with good morals. I felt so great afterwards KNOWING that I could be of help, that he was appreciative, and that he was 89 years old still able to go to the mall...and be healthy...and he looked great for 89!

My point in this story is NOT to give myself props (haha, i used props!) for helping. It's more to say, PLEASE don't just walk on by...sometimes we all need a little bit of help...

100 Grand

Do you ever experience those gestures that you know come from the heart and remind you just how much you are loved?

I was cranky last night and even more so this morning when I woke up because work just feels like it is beating me down. I was struggling just to get through my morning routine and I was so lucky that my fiance was going out of his way to be extra nice and sweet (especially since I was being cranky and not sweet).

He made my breakfast, made my lunch, started my car, among other sweet gestures.

After he left for work, I took a peek into my lunch bag and there sitting at the bottom was a 100 Grand bar. This little tiny obscure gesture caused me to start crying.

In that moment, with that 100 Grand bar, I was reminded JUST how much my fiance loves me.